UNITAS Family and Friends

To the family and friends of Marine Forces UNITAS,

We are back in Camp LeJeune following a highly successful deployment where your Marines and Sailors performed magnificently. After 11 countries and/or territories, numerous amphibious landings and bilateral exercises, and several port visits, the Marines and Sailors of UNITAS can be proud of what they have achieved. The comments I have received from several general officers have all been very complimentary toward our unit and its accomplishments these past months. We have developed a unique manner by which the Marine reserve can contribute to the ongoing missions of the active duty component and we have done it well. We did not do it alone, however. The support you, and your Marines’ employers, provided in this hallmark effort was key to its success. Whether you actively became involved in the unit’s support structure and activities, or did what you could to accept greater responsibility at home in order to allow your Marine to participate, every one of you was a part of this remarkable achievement. You have demonstrated that serving the country is truly a team effort requiring the efforts of all of us, not just those in uniform. I wish you all a happy reunion with your Marine and a happy holiday season.

Reunion is part of the deployment cycle

The process of reuniting in which military families engage when service members return from unaccompanied tours of duty
Identified by many military families as the most challenging time for them.

Family readiness also means being prepared for that highly, anticipated time when the family is reunited. Don't assume there will be no readjustment problems when your partner returns; but on the other hand, don't expect the worse.

Military families who have gone through a number of separations report that being prepared for the reunion is just as important as planning for the separation itself.
Reunions have a very strong impact on the family.
Our expectations about the reunion sometimes cause us to overlook some important realities.

Even following short separations, like temporary duty away from home for training schools, attention should paid to what happens during a reunion period. But for longer separations, it is especially important to understand the dynamics of homecoming:

Children have grown and changed. They may be reserved at first. Their attitudes may have changed, reflecting a new stage in their development. Have your children developed new skills?
Your spouse may have changed too. You probably will be able to find some good qualities in the changes. For instance, has your spouse developed new inner strengths that were not there before?
You may find that there is some awkwardness in re-establishing relationships in your marriage and in rediscovering intimacy. Realize that real life may not meet your homecoming fantasy. Patience will pay big dividends.
Family roles may have to be redefined. The waiting spouse may like the newly acquired role of balancing the finances and handling all the family concerns. Children may have started making their own decisions and taking on new responsibilities.

Communication is the key to reunion and family success. Allow all family members to express their feelings and concerns. By staying in tune with everyone's feelings familial balance will be more easily established.

Any lengthy separation involves change. Your daily lifestyle as a family will certainly change. Insuring the family's success while together and apart will be up to both parents. Planning this effort is a process that could bring couples closer together and strengthen their relationship.

The Marine may have to reestablish the relationship with his children. Long separations may mean that the child has to get to know you again.
A routine for daily chores and responsibilities, such as discipline, will have to be reestablished. Let each family member pull back together at his or her own pace.
Go easy on discipline of the children when you first return.

If you have especially young children, they might not remember who you are. They may be afraid of you.
Older children may be angry with you for having left. They may be afraid that you will leave again and will fuss and cry every time you walk out of the door. They might test your limits, or have problems with bedwetting. They may also have problems in school.

Spend some quality time with each child...And when in doubt what to do...hug your child.
Above all, have patience!

The more separations a couple goes through, the more independence each spouse builds.
Problems arise if the partner comes home and expects the other partner and family to be exactly as they were when he left. That just doesn't happen. And the partner who was gone has changed also. The reunion can be stressful, but is greatly eased by good communication during the separation. Be open and honest about your anxieties and fears.

Ideas for family members

· Avoid tight schedules · Understand the Marine’s discomfort, exhaustion

· Allow time to adjust · Stick to your budget

· Expect unusual feelings

Make it easier for children

· Give them time, too · Expect them to test limits

· Plan family time · Plan individual time with returning parent

· Stay involved with school, activities and interests

HOMECOMING PREPARATIONS

Cris Jenness

He's coming home! I can't believe it; finally he's coming home! Ok what do I do next?

First thing's first. This is the time for you to sit down and consider a lot of things. You have been alone or without him for months. He has been living in solitude with nothing but memories of you. Please realize that your separation has changed you both. You now must prepare yourself for the changes you will see in him. Life will be different for a while and you may not even like it. A friend of mine whose husband just got back from a float, called me two days after he got back and said that he is not talking to her. I explained to her that they both need to re-adjust to each other. It may or may not take some time but it is guaranteed to be uncomfortable at first. Take this time to accept those changes. I know it sounds as if it is a one-way street but it is just as hard for him. You need to make the decision now to understand that and when the right time comes, to talk about it with him. Here are a few tips to tips to ease your anxiety:

Get together with your "lonely wives" and have a welcome home signing party someone's house) make Big signs and fun signs. Personalize them; don't be afraid that it may be tacky. Believe me, they love it!

Go on a shopping spree and buy a special dress for the special occasion. Oh, I'm sure that you can figure out where I'm going with this one. Shopping for special things (intimate apparel). Do a make over so-to-speak. He will already be happy to see you but give him an awesome sight to look at and make his heart really jump!

After all the signs are done, have a baking party! The eve of his return will be the most anxious time. To relieve that anxiety attack, you need to busy yourself. What better way to do it but by baking and preparing.

Congratulations! Remember, you need to make sure that his homecoming is something he will remember for a while. Besides all the really nice and wonderful things you need to do personally, consider that his group may include guys who have no one to welcome them home. What I mean by that is, it's great that HE is finally coming back, that's great for YOU. What about the guys who will not have anyone to welcome them back, where do they stand? Remember that they are our family too and we must consider them.

No matter what time they arrive, they are guaranteed to be starving, thirsty and have been working since zero dark thirty. With your help (or initiation) your KV can make sure that all those things are taken care of. Remember, these men have just spent months away from home; lets make their return a memorable one. All it takes is a little concern on the behalf of a "Few Good Women"

Cris Jenness is married to an active duty Marine and currently lives in Okinawa, Japan. Her website “A SOFTER SIDE OF THE EAGLE, GLOBE AND ANCHOR” can be visited at: http://www.geocities.com/Pentagon/Quarters/9684/index.html

In closing…

Key Volunteer Coordinator – Julie Hattey

As the deployment draws to a close, I wanted to add a few words to the last newsletter. First, I’d like to say that I’m so proud of everyone. We survived, what was for many, our first deployment. It takes a special kind of person to send her or his Marine off and then continue to live life instead of putting things on hold and merely waiting for their return. All of you were crucial to the success of this mission!

I appreciate all the sacrifices you made which allowed your Marine to participate in this unique endeavor. This deployment has been full of challenges for all involved and for some it was the most difficult thing you’ve endured. I especially appreciate and respect that group for your faithfulness and courage to get to this point.

I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly thank those Unitas family members who have been so supportive to me personally. A big thank you should first go to Lanna Wilson. She is herself a Key Volunteer Coordinator for her husband’s home unit in Salt Lake City, Utah. As a result, Lanna has often worn two hats during this deployment. She has been a source of inspiration, a listening ear and has regularly provided me with well-timed words of advice and plenty of laughter. You’re the best!

Another resounding thanks goes to Janice Brandt and the wonderful group of hard-working (hard-baking) ladies at Heritage Church. Without your infusions of goodies, the 1^st Platoon would have had a much more difficult deployment. I know that a lot of time, love and prayer went into each individual package and I trust you’ll be blessed in return. You were also incredibly thoughtful to include treats for me in each package…can I get the recipe for the pumpkin bread?

To these amazing women who shared this part of their lives with me and offered support from places like Texas, Florida, Massachusetts, and Colorado. Paula White, Diana Prado, Abby Judkins, Karen Keith, Susan Gomperts and Jenny Van Lunsen (soon to be Lobato!)…Thank you for your friendship. I am so fortunate to know you.

I wish you all the best that the future holds and joyful reunions with your Marine as we enter this holiday time.

Sincerely,

Julie Hattey

BRAVO ZULU

MSgt. Service

BRAVO ZULU is a naval term that is short for “Job well done.” I’d like to commend all of you for the sacrifice(s) that you made to allow your Marine to make this float. Your contribution has not been a small one. Each Marine learned something on this deployment that he will be able to pass on to others for years to come.

This deployment is over, but your Marine still has drills and AT’s to go. It’s not too late to become a Key Volunteer for your Marine at his HTC! After this, a two-week AT will be a piece of cake!

It’s a very small Marine Corps, and I hope that our paths might cross again. I’d like to wish each and every one of you:

Fair Winds and Following Seas!